


could never want for more when you're near

by nevershootamockingbird



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Pride, Pride Parades, Trans Caleb Widogast, Trans Character, Widofjord Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 10:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevershootamockingbird/pseuds/nevershootamockingbird
Summary: “Y’know,” he starts out, voice thick with emotion, “I never thought I'd be here. Never thought I'd get a chance to be part of somethin’ like this.”Caleb looks at him with an infinite amount of softness, lifting one hand to gently smudge away the wetness forming under Fjord’s eyes. “Careful, schatz. I do not know how waterproof Jester’s paints are.”Fjord laughs, and it's only a little watery. Caleb holds his gaze, hand dipping down to gently cradle his jaw, and Fjord understands the unspoken words easily.





	could never want for more when you're near

**Author's Note:**

> For Widofjord Week day 7: "Pride"
> 
> Fjord and Caleb, at pride and after, queer and in love and happy.

Beau towers over them as Yasha straightens up, grinning broadly and shoving her sunglasses up her nose, carelessly trusting in the other woman not to let her fall off her shoulders. Fjord lets himself watch for a moment, just to be sure the smaller woman won’t get too cocky and overbalance, before turning back to the task at hand.

“Hold still,” he warns, hands firmly rubbing cold sunblock into Caleb’s freckled shoulders. Predictably, his boyfriend squirms as soon as he’s said it, and it’s too easy to picture the way his nose must be scrunched up.

“Don’t do that! Keep still,” Jester chides, drawing back for a moment before leaning in, and Fjord chuckles, carefully thumbing underneath the edges of Caleb’s tank. “Unless you want your flags to be uneven, don’t move your face.”

“Nothing about me is straight, why would this matter?” His voice is a little exasperated, a little petulant, and Fjord laughs, curling his hands around his boyfriend’s shoulders and squeezing gently. Yasha sighs at the pun, long-suffering and resigned, even as her mouth twitches up just a fraction.

“That's the spirit!” The other human peers down at them as Yasha grips her thighs tighter, watching as Jester finishes painting one last line before stepping away. Beau points at her own left cheek, smile widening. “Dude, we totally match.”

Fjord steps to the side, gently cupping the back of Caleb’s neck so he can view the two flags painted on his face. On his right cheek are three bold stripes, pink and purple and blue, vibrant against his pale skin; on the left, same as Beau, are five stripes of blue and pink and white, gentler in hue and thinner but no less brilliant.

There’s a quiet sort of joyful peace in Caleb’s eyes, and Fjord has to swallow back a wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm him. “Looks great, darlin’.”

“Almost as good as you, hm? My rainbow man,” he teases gently, and Fjord laughs, feels his own cheeks stretch and pull underneath the two rainbow flags.

“Water bottles are filled, let’s go find a good spot!” A familiar voice calls out, and Fjord turns to see Molly draping himself over Jester’s back, Nott and Caduceus hot on his heels. “Look at us all, so colorful. Well done, Jester.”

The tiefling beams before taking her bottle back from Nott, shifting enough to loop her arm through Mollymuak’s. “C’mon, we gotta get somewhere we’ll all be able to see, it’s no fun if Nott and I are trying to look over everyone’s heads.”

The tieflings forge the way forward through the small crowd that has already gathered along the street, and Fjord counts heads as he falls in behind the rest of their friends, eager to keep them all together. An arm slides around his waist, and it’s almost second nature to wrap his arm around Caleb’s shoulders in return, tucking his boyfriend in tight against his side.

Caleb is already smiling up at him when he glances down, red hair pulled back away from his face, gaze soft as he asks, “Feeling alright about this still?”

“Yeah,” and he hesitates for just a second, slides his tongue over his tusks before nodding slowly. He inhales deeply, letting it out in a rush before confessing, “Little anxious, but I’m-- I’m excited, more than anything, I think. I want to have fun.”

“Then we will make sure that you do,” Caleb tells him, self-assured and reassuring, and Fjord feels himself lose that last bit of tension in his shoulders. The human looks forward again, but Fjord lets himself gaze down for just a second longer, trusting that Caleb won’t let him bump into anyone.

He thinks if nothing else good were to happen today, he would already have had a better experience than he ever imagined.

Fjord looks ahead again, counting heads and listening for familiar laughter, Caleb a comforting presence next to him as they finally come to a stop. He gives his partner a gentle squeeze, feels a thrum of excitement in his chest as he takes in the street decorations, the folks gathering around them, his friends all looking comfortable as they settle into a spot deemed acceptable by Jester and Nott both.

It’s already a good day. Fjord cautiously lets himself hope that it will get even better.

 

* * *

 

Somewhere in the middle of the parade, Molly ends up on a float. Fjord hears Beau laughing hysterically, hears Caduceus say, “Well, that looks like fun,” and then he looks over and Mollymauk is dancing on a goddamned float that’s already mostly passed them by.

“Come on, let’s have some fun!” The purple tiefling calls out as he turns back to them, hips swaying to the beat of the song blasting over the float’s speakers, and Fjord thinks about trying to get him down but Jester is already darting over with Beau, hands clasped tight. Nott follows close behind, then Yasha and Caduceus, and Fjord just sighs, looking up briefly at the cloudless sky.

A smaller palm slides against his own, fingers tangling together with his, and when he looks back down he sees Caleb smiling up at him, bright and content. “Why not, hm?”

“I don’t know what I expected, really,” the half-orc mutters, but he’s grinning as he says it, and Caleb laughs, tugging him forward to follow the rest of their friends. Jester is quick to join Molly on the float, pulling her girlfriend up after her before helping Nott up, and Fjord settles in with the others, content to walk next to the float. He holds his breath for a half-second, unease prickling down his spine, but--

But Caleb keeps holding his hand, swinging them almost absentmindedly, and Molly seems to actually know the damn group on the float, and no one comes at them to tell them to fuck off.

People just keep cheering and waving and enjoying themselves, and Fjord feels an overwhelming sense of belonging settle under his skin. Someone on the float wearing the lesbian flag begins to toss mini flags at them, and he’s quick to catch one, smiling dumbly at it before looking over at his boyfriend.

Caleb’s already looking, eyes so soft and fond that Fjord loses his breath for a second.

“Are you comfortable with this? We can always go back,” he offers gently, and Fjord thinks his heart could just fuckin’ burst with how much he loves this man. He shakes his head, squeezing Caleb’s hand before he offers a helpless smile.

“Never wanted to be anywhere so bad in my life,” he admits, chuckling a little self-consciously, but Caleb just leans over to smudge a kiss to his bare shoulder, thumb rubbing firmly over his knuckles.

“Good,” said against his skin, lips curving up before the human pulls away. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice that has Fjord groaning good-naturedly as he continues, “Just remember you said that when Mollymauk pulls you up there with him.”

 

* * *

 

The sun has begun to dip below the skyline, fittingly painting the sky in oranges and pinks, and Fjord wonders not for the first time if today hasn’t just been some kind of perfect fever dream.

“Y’know,” he starts out, voice thick with emotion, “I never thought I'd be here. Never thought I'd get a chance to be part of somethin’ like this.”

Caleb looks at him with an infinite amount of softness, lifting one hand to gently smudge away the wetness forming under Fjord’s eyes. “Careful, schatz. I do not know how waterproof Jester’s paints are.”

Fjord laughs, and it's only a little watery. Caleb holds his gaze, hand dipping down to gently cradle his jaw, and Fjord understands the unspoken words easily.

_I never thought I could be this happy. I never thought I could be proud, or safe, or myself. I never thought I could have this love._

“I love you,” he murmurs, with his heart so full that he feels he may burst from it, like there isn't enough room in his body to contain the enormity of the emotion. Caleb gives a soft, shuddering sigh, his own eyes looking suspiciously shiny for a moment, before pressing up onto his toes, mouth meeting Fjord’s for a tender kiss.

There's laughter around them, their friends’ voices overlapping as they try to figure out a plan for dinner, and Fjord curls his hands around his partner's hips as Caleb drops back down onto his heels. The smile that breaks over his face is like the sun rising after a long night, voice soft and content as he says, “Ich liebe dich, Fjord.”

His heart beats steady in his chest, and he can’t bring himself to care about the threat of ruined paint as he feels a few tears finally spill down his cheeks.

_We’re here. We’re here. We’re here._

 

* * *

 

They make it home, eventually, exhausted and sweaty and elated, and Fjord feels almost drunk as he stumbles into Caleb’s back after locking the door behind them, hands curling around slender hips as he ducks down enough to brush his lips against the hollow behind his partner’s ear.

“Today was wonderful,” Caleb sighs out contentedly, reaching one hand up to briefly slide fingers through Fjord’s hair. The half-orc hums in agreement, pressing another kiss to soft patch of skin before straightening up. He feels Frumpkin wind through their ankles, chirping in greeting, and Caleb chuckles, carefully pulling away. “I bet you had a nice day to yourself, ja?”

Fjord grins even as he leaves his partner to cuddle his cat, making his way up to their bedroom and into the bathroom. It only takes a little scrubbing with a makeup wipe to remove the flags from his face, and by the time he’s stripped down and turned the shower on, Caleb has joined him, leaning against the doorway and watching with a small smile on his face.

“Gonna stare all night, or y’gonna join me?” He smiles as he asks, stepping under the spray and leaving the shower door open. His partner huffs out a soft laugh, shaking his head before stripping quickly. Fjord idly scrubs shampoo through his hair as he watches, eyes traveling slowly over pale skin, catching on the twin scars on Caleb’s chest, the solid slope of his hips, the thick line of hair below his belly button leading down to the red curls over his cunt. There’s the beginnings of want stirring in his gut, but he ignores it for the time being, shutting his eyes as he tips his head back.

“Hello.” The word is soft, accompanied by hands gently smoothing over his chest, and Fjord smiles as he opens his eyes, ducking down to brush a kiss to Caleb's mouth.

“Hi there, Cay,” he murmurs as he parts, and it still sends a little rush of joy through him, watching his partner's eyes crinkle up at the nickname. “Pass me the shampoo?”

They don't speak again, comfortable silence settling over them as they go through familiar motions. Fjord keeps his claws gentle as he slides them through Caleb's hair, rumbles contentedly when his partner firmly scrubs over his back. He reels Caleb back in when the other man makes to shut the water off, holds him close to his chest and revels in the quiet intimacy, nosing along Caleb’s hairline.

“Alright, schatz?” The question is all gentle concern, voice warm, and Fjord has to swallow down a sudden lump in his throat. He nods once, too many words in his mouth, tongue too clumsy to put any emotions to voice. Caleb doesn't push, just hums soothingly and reaches out to shut off the water, other hand settling over Fjord’s and squeezing gently. “Come, dear, let’s get to bed.”

Fjord lets himself be herded out of the shower, takes the towel offered to him to lazily dry off. He waits until Caleb turns before tousling the smaller man’s hair, laughing at the wild mess of curls that appear from under the towel. His partner turns a long-suffering look at him, but the corner of his mouth begins to twitch and then he is laughing as well, shaking his head.

“You are very lucky you're cute.” Caleb leans up to deliver his words with a playful kiss, beard rubbing damp and soft against Fjord’s chin. They part after a moment, hanging towels before making their way into the bedroom. Fjord offers his boyfriend one of his own shirts with an amused glance, rolling his eyes as the human beams and pulls the offered shirt on, hem falling partway down his thighs.

“I’m not the only one who’s lucky,” he says drily, grinning as Caleb laughs without shame. Caleb shuts the lights off as Fjord pulls on a clean pair of boxers, and it is easy to find each other in the middle of the bed, sliding under sheets and curling together like matching puzzle pieces. Caleb presses close, seeking out the half-orc’s body heat like a cat to a sun patch, and Fjord feels his breath catch in his chest, has to shut his eyes for a moment and wrap his arm tightly around Caleb’s waist. He thinks, briefly, about never letting go.

He thinks about the ring box in his sewing kit, sitting beneath spare fabric scraps and wool for the past six months; he thinks there’s never been an easier decision to make.

Caleb is tracing idle patterns against his chest, slow and lazy, and Fjord can tell that between a full day in the sun and the excitement of it all, his boyfriend is close to sleep. He tilts his head down to press a gentle kiss to the human’s temple, sweeping his hand gently up his spine. Caleb hums in response, tipping his head back until he can blur a kiss to the edge of Fjord’s mouth, sighing softly. “Everything alright, dearheart?”

“I’ve never been happier, Cay,” Fjord whispers between them, watching as his partner’s eyes fight to focus past the darkness and his own exhaustion. He swallows hard, slides his tongues over the blunt points of his tusks before asking, “You got my whole heart, darlin’. You know that, right?”

A shaky sigh, a hand pressing firmly over his heart, and then Caleb is nodding, voice only a little hoarse as he says, “Ja, Fjord, I know. And you know that you have mine, I hope.”

“I do,” and he seals the promise with a kiss, soft and without urgency, lets the tender moment stretch out until he feels Caleb trembling in his arms. He pulls back just enough to watch the way Caleb’s lashes smudge damply against his cheeks, feels the smaller man’s chest hitching around uneven breaths. Fjord swallows thickly, just manages to keep his voice steady as he murmurs, “Thank you.”

“For what?” And he almost smiles at the incredulity coloring his love’s words, the way his brow furrows into that particular look he gets when he thinks Fjord is being absurd.

“For loving me as I am.” He offers the words between them like a prayer, watches as something a little melancholy, a lot understanding slide across Caleb’s face.

“Oh, schatz. I always will,” murmured against his mouth, lips caught in a kiss once, twice, three times. Caleb breathes in time with him, and Fjord thinks that it feels a lot like forever.

Under Caleb’s palm, Fjord’s heart beats steadily.

_We’re here. We’re here. We’re here._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I put a lot of myself into it, and maybe that's why it was so hard to write at times-- I've never had a particularly easy time figuring out the emotions I have about my queer identity. I really enjoyed writing this and am very proud of it, and I hope you liked it even a fraction as much as I liked writing it! 
> 
> Title is from the song '4AM' by Bastille, because i pretty much listened to only their new album while I was writing. Heard the line and it just seemed to fit Caleb and Fjord pretty damn well. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading! You can find me over on [tumblr](https://nevershootamockingbird.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/daleytwin1) if you feel like yelling with me about these characters, this show, or, you know, anything else!


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